A long hiatus

Wow. More than three years since I posted here. And so much has changed. 
My husband is now in a nursing home and has been for nearly two years and is suffering with the last stages of Alzheimer’s and it is so painful as his wife to watch him suffer so. 
I tried so hard to create a healthy diet for him while he was still at home, though I know that I could have done better. It was just so overwhelming. And now that I am on my own, I am not taking care of me well at all. 
And that’s why I’m here and doing the lame ‘New Year’s resolution’ crap and I figured if I documented it here, I might have a chance in hell of actually sticking to it. 
Caring for my husband has really taken its toll on me. I feel the stress of everything required of me intensely. It makes my chest tight, my breathing fast, heart rate fast. I have gained a lot of weight–both from the antidepressant and antianxiety meds I have to take now as well as from eating the wrong foods. I am exhausted all of the time. My blood pressure is creeping up. While the antidepressant works, it doesn’t take it all away and I have so much trouble functioning. 
I go up and visit him nearly every day and I leave the nursing home in tears almost every day. 
I don’t like living like this. 
And so I am here and hoping that blogging for the next year will be what keeps me sane….and healthy. 
Here’s to 2017.

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